“Maybe being oneself is an acquired taste. For a writer it’s a big deal to bow—or kneel or get knocked down—to the fact that you are going to write your own books and not somebody else’s. Not even those books of the somebody else you thought it was your express business to spruce yourself up to be.” – Patricia Hampl
That line has nothing to do with songwriting on the surface… but it has everything to do with it underneath.
Because if you swap out writer for songwriter, and books for songs, you land right in the middle of one of the biggest challenges any songwriter will face:
Accepting that you’re here to write your own songs… not someone else’s.
The Quiet Phase Nobody Talks About
Most songwriters don’t start as themselves. They start as a reflection.
You hear a song you love, and something clicks. You pick up a guitar or sit at a piano and try to recreate that feeling. Not just the chords or the melody, but the voice behind it.
- You write like them.
- You phrase like them.
- You chase the same kind of emotional tone.
And that’s not a mistake. That’s part of the process. It’s how you learn.
But really, at the end of the day it’s not where you’re meant to stay.
Being Yourself Isn’t Immediate
“Maybe being oneself is an acquired taste.”
That line hits harder than it looks.
Because your own voice doesn’t arrive fully formed. And when it does start to show itself, it often doesn’t sound “right” to you.
Why? Because your ears have been trained on other people.
You’ve spent years listening to artists you admire. Your internal benchmark for what a “good song” sounds like is built on them, not you.
So when your own voice starts to come through, it can feel unfamiliar. Even uncomfortable.
Sometimes you’ll even think: This doesn’t sound like anything I’d normally listen to…
Exactly… That’s the point.
The Imitation Phase (And Why It Matters)
There’s nothing wrong with writing like your influences. In fact, it’s necessary, it’s how you:
- Learn structure
- Understand melody
- Develop lyrical instincts
- Get a feel for what works
But always remember, imitation is just training, not identity.
At some point, you have to move from:
“How would [insert inspiring artist here] write this?”
to:
“What do I actually want to say?”
That mindset shift is subtle… but it changes everything.
The Trap: Becoming a Polished Version of Someone Else
Here’s where things get tricky… You can get very good at writing songs that sound like other artists, good enough that people might even say:
- “This sounds like…”
- “You could write for…”
- “This fits right into that style…”
And it feels like progress but underneath all of that is a quiet compromise.
You’re not expressing yourself. You’re refining an impression and ultimately you’re becoming a polished version of someone else and the longer you stay there, the harder it becomes to step away from it.
The Turning Point
Patricia Hampl describes it as bowing… or kneeling… or getting knocked down.
For songwriters, it feels like this: A moment where you realise you can’t keep writing from behind someone else’s voice.
- You stop trying to impress.
- You stop trying to match a standard.
- You stop trying to sound like what you think a “songwriter” should sound like.
And instead, you write something that feels honest… even if it’s rough, simple, or different and that’s the turning point. That’s where your songs (and your voice) begin to take shape.
Why Writing as Yourself Feels Risky
There’s a reason many people avoid this step. It’s because writing like someone else is safe. There’s a reference point, a template and therefore a known outcome but writing as yourself?
Well, there’s nothing to hide behind is there? No comfort zones, no comparisons and definitely no safety net.
Just your instincts, your thoughts and your way of seeing things that can feel a bit exposed but from my experience, that feeling is also a signal which usually means you’re getting closer to something real.
It’s time to start leaning into that which is real.
What Changes When You Start Writing as Yourself
When you stop trying to write like someone else, a few things begin to shift:
- Your songs feel more consistent.
- Your voice becomes recognisable.
- You second-guess less.
- You enjoy the process more.
And most importantly… Your songs start to connect with others.
Not because they’re perfect, but because they’re honest
Finding Your Own Voice (In Practical Terms)
Now, this doesn’t happen overnight, but you can nudge yourself in the right direction.
As an experiment, try this:
- Write songs without referencing other artists at all
- Finish songs even if they feel “too simple”
- Record rough versions and listen back without comparison
- Pay attention to recurring themes or phrases. That’s your voice showing up
See how you go with doing that. See if you can feel your voice trying to pole through to the surface.
The Long Game
Being yourself as a songwriter isn’t a switch you flick. It’s something you grow into over time as you move through imitation, as you experiment and as you struggle with comparison.
And with doing all of that, slowly, over time, you will begin to recognise what feels like you and that’s when things start to click.
So if you take anything from Patricia Hampl’s quote and bring it into songwriting, it’s this: You’re not here to write someone else’s songs. Not even the songs of the artist you once thought you had to become.
You’re here to write yours and that might take time but it’s so very worth it.
